Nothing I\'m reading (many FB dev articles and SO question) is helping, so I thought I\'d post here. I\'m trying to get this all to work with iOS 6 and Facebook SDK 3.1.1.
This isn't the type of fix I was after, but things look to be working as expected, so at this point I just need to ship.
First things first, it turns out that old versions of our app were requesting offline_access. I did not know that. I went in to my FB app's Settings > Advanced, and enabled "Remove offline_access permission." I am now getting back a token that lasts two months (check out the facbeook token debugger).
Now that I'm getting back the correct kind of token, I still have a problem with getting back a valid token when it has been deactivated/expired. Since I'm now getting back a 2 month token, I can't wait for that to expire, so my plan was to trigger an OAuthException by going into my account's settings and deauthorizing it.
In my appDidBecomeActive, I put [FBRequestConnection startForMeWithCompletionHandler:nil] to simply trigger a silent request to FB, and when that fails because of an invalid session/token, the code flow runs through the correct path and [FBSession renewSystemAuthorization] ends up getting called, which is ultimately what I was needing. What this allows iOS to do is the next time I go to Log in to my app through FB, iOS prompts me again, understanding I don't have a valid token anymore. Calling [FBSession renewSystemAuthorization] effectively tells iOS that the next time my app requests access, hit facebook and give me back a new/refreshed token.
For the most part everything is working as expected now.