I saw examples on how to get table header in many places with code
TableHeaderRow header = (TableHeaderRow) tableView.lookup(\"TableHeaderRow\");
lookup("TableHeaderRow"); works, but it needs called after the table is rendered or it will return null
The TableHeaderRow is created by the Skin and the default Skin is not created until css is applied.
You could call applyCss after adding the TableView to a Scene and access the TableHeaderRow after this call.
Alternatively listen for changes in the Skin and execute that code after the skin has been set.
Furthermore I'd recommend using TableViewSkinBase.getTableHeaderRow to retrieve the header row instead of using lookup (you're using com.sun packages anyway).
tableView.skinProperty().addListener((a, b, newSkin) -> {
TableHeaderRow headerRow = ((TableViewSkinBase) newSkin).getTableHeaderRow();
...
});