How could I select in jQuery all elements that have the my_attr attribute which is not equal to my_value ?
If my_attr is
To get a "doesn't match", you'd use an attribute not-equals selector with (the other part of the question) as has-attribute selector, like this:
$("span[a][a!='4']")
If you want it to equal, just take out the ! for an attribute-equals selector, like this:
$("span[a][a='5']")
To use a variable, just concatenate, like this:
$("span[" + my_attr + "][" + my_attr + "!='" + my_value + "']")