I feel like I have touched on every single possible cause for stopping this, but I have a UIScrollView in my Storyboard hooked up with an outlet and in the viewDidLoad I set
The issue is most probably with Auto Layout. UIScrollView needs special attention when using AutoLayout.
Quick-fix - bind one of the scroll's subviews to the top AND bottom space of it's superview (the scroll view).
Long story: Questions on SO: UIScrollView not scrolling regardless of large contentSize, UIScrollView will not scroll, even after content size set, UIScrollView doesn't use autolayout constraints
Apple's Documentation: https://developer.apple.com/library/ios/technotes/tn2154/_index.html
viewDidLoad is not a good place to put code that relies on frame sizes of IB objects. If you log the contentSize of your scroll view in viewDidLoad, you will see that it's (0,0). Move the code (where you set the content size) to viewDidAppear, and it will work properly.