Is outlet connect to a subview and referencing outlet connect to the stuff? Is that it?
The term referencing outlet means an outlet in another object that references, or points to, the current object.
As an example, say you have a nib that has a File's Owner and a UITableView in it, among other things. In order for a tableview to work it has a datasource and delegate, which are outlets and can be connected in IB. From the standpoint of the tableview the datasource and delegate are outlets. From the standpoint of the File's Owner the datasource and delegate in the tableview are referencing outlets.
Reference
This previous SO question describes referencing outlet What is a referencing outlet?