§23.1.2.8 in the standard states that insertion/deletion operations on a set/map will not invalidate any iterators to those objects (except iterators pointing to a deleted eleme
A couple points:
1) end() references an element that is past the end of the container. It doesn't change when inserts or deletes change the container because it's not pointing to an element.
2) I think perhaps your idea of storing an array of 4 iterators in the Node could be changed to make the entire problem make more sense. What you want is to add a new iterator type to the Graph object that is capable of iterating over a single node's neighbours. The implementation of this iterator will need to access the members of the map, which possibly leads you down the path of making the Graph class extend the map collection. With the Graph class being an extended std::map, then the language changes, and you no longer need to store an invalid iterator, but instead simply need to write the algorithm to determine who is the 'next neighbour' in the map.