SQL Server 2012 can't start because of a login failure

Question

I recently installed Microsoft SQL Server 2012 on a fresh Windows 7 installation, but whenever I want to run the server, I get the following error:

Error

Answer 1

Short answer:
install Remote Server Administration tools on your SQL Server (it's an optional feature of Windows Server), reboot, then run SQL Server configuration manager, access the service settings for each of the services whose logon account starts with "NT Service...", clear out the password fields and restart the service. Under the covers, SQL Server Config manager will assign these virtual accounts the Log On as a Service right, and you'll be on your way.

tl;dr;

There is a catch-22 between default settings for a windows domain and default install of SQL Server 2012.

As mentioned above, default Windows domain setup will indeed prevent you from defining the "log on as a service" right via Group Policy Edit at the local machine (via GUI at least; if you install Powershell ActiveDirectory module (via Remote Server Administration tools download) you can do it by scripting.

And, by default, SQL Server 2012 setup runs services in "virtual accounts" (NT Service\ prefix, e.g, NT Service\MSSQLServer. These are like local machine accounts, not domain accounts, but you still can't assign them log on as service rights if your server is joined to a domain. SQL Server setup attempts to assign the right at install, and the SQL Server Config Management tool likewise attempts to assign the right when you change logon account.

And the beautiful catch-22 is this: SQL Server tools depend on (some component of) RSAT to assign the logon as service right. If you don't happen to have RSAT installed on your member server, SQL Server Config Manager fails silently trying to apply the setting (despite all the gaudy pre-installation verification it runs) and you end up with services that won't start.

The one hint of this requirement that I was able to find in the blizzard of SQL Server and Virtual Account doc was this: https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/ms143504.aspx#New_Accounts, search for RSAT.