I have asked a similar question here and got some answers, so first of all sorry for making you people bother once again.
But I have an argument this time. First I will
I'm fairly sure altering UIAlertView
by digging through the view hierarchy is a no-no. Firstly because it "uses standard iPhone screen images in a non-standard way, potentially resulting in user confusion", and secondly because if they change the view hierarchy your app is broken.
I might be wrong, I've never tried to get something like this onto the store, but my gut says don't risk it.
You can get a red button using a standard UIActionSheet, can you not?