Google\'s GMail service does it because it integrates Google Talk -- and Etherpad (now typewith.me) made famous the system which is used by, for example, Google Wave. All su
There are many options but basically i'd recommend you look into XMPP. i don't think i'm good enough to boil it down correctly, so i'll let a wiki talk for me
In fact, google voice and video uses it for these systems.
About AJAX, i think it's a communication channel, not a platform or a protocol for multiple person exchange. You could also answer "Use xml over http!"
and still be at the same point :)