There are lots of similar questions on here, but none that I think specifically ask this question, which is, is there any way in code to force the red delete button to appea
By calling
[self.tableView setEditing:YES animated:YES];
on a UITableViewController you can set the tableView to editing mode. you can actually add a gesture recognizer to the cell a cell view that makes that call using a delegate method.
According to the Documentation of UITableViewCell you can actually set the same way an individual cell. Apart from that you will have to manage the standard gesture recognizer. I guess subclassing would be your ally on that situation.
I hope this helps.