I have a web application deployed to a remote resin server, and it has JMX turned on.
I can telnet to the remote server i.e
franz@see:/tmp$ telnet &l
if you run jconsole -debug it gives you more diagnostic info on the failure. See
the Daniel Fuchs blog entry "Troubleshooting connection problems in JConsole".
I did this and it showed me I was using 32 bit jconsole the target process was started with a different (64 bit) jvm, so apparently this isn't allowed and it was thus failing.