I\'ve got a series of .NET 4 based web applications (WCF and Web) within the same solution, but need to selectively publish, from the command line.
I\'ve tried vario
Have you checked out WebDeploy?
This should do all the steps you need to have - it can bundle up a web app into a deployable file (a ZIP, basically), and there's an "engine" on the server that can interpret that deployable package and do all the heavy lifting for you.
Also see Scott Hanselman's Web Deployment Made Awesome: If You're Using XCopy, You're Doing It Wrong blog post - very enlightening!