I\'ve managed to get my install all screwed up as I\'m a newbie and messing up is what I\'m good at.
1) Can anyone reference a credible set of setup instructions for
Check /tmp for the MacPorts mysql socket.
If you're using 5 different sites' tips on how to run mysql and you're surprised you've gotten lost … well, I'll just leave it at try to follow just one site at a time and back out all changes before going to the next.
I think the only problem you're having with MacPorts mysql (what problem are you having??) is that it's got a socket where you don't expect it and it's using a default configuration. This should have been explained after the install was completed by MacPorts. Please see ${prefix}/share/doc/mysql5/
for ideas and/or contact the developer list.
Also consider contacting the maintainer of the port; they likely know the most about it since they manage it.