Now i ran into some stupid situation. I want the users to be able to use textile, but they shouldn\'t mess around with my valid HTML around their entry. So I have to escape
Looks like textile simply doesn't support what you want.
You really want to only allow a carefully controlled subset of HTML, but textile is designed to allow arbitrary HTML. I don't think you can use textile at all in this situation (unless it supports that kind of restriction).
What you need is probably a special "restricted" version of textile, that only allows "safe" markup (defining that however might already be tricky). I do not know if that exists, however.
You might have a look at BBCode, that allows to restrict the possible markup.