I\'m trying to come up with a MySQL query that will update points... Can I do something like this?
points
UPDATE `a75ting`.`username` SET `points` = \'
UPDATE a75ting.username SET points = points - 5
by putting the single quotes around the "points -5", you converted that expression into a plaintext string. Leaving it without the quotes lets MySQL see you're referring to a field (points) and subtracting 5 from its current value.