What is the best/easy way to validate an email address in ruby (on the server side)?
In Ruby? The same way as in any language.
Send a confirmation email to the address with a link that the recipient has to click before the email address is considered fully validated.
There are any number of reasons why a perfectly formatted address may still be invalid (no actual user at that address, blocked by spam filters, and so on). The only way to know for sure is a successfully completed end-to-end transaction of some description.