IE8 native JSON.parse bug causes stack overflow

Question

TL;DR: Adding any non-built-in functions to Array.prototype AND Function.prototype will cause the IE8 native JSON parser to get a stack overflow when parsing any JSO

Answer 1

I've had this question with no accepted answers sitting around for quite a while, so just to get rid of it, I'll answer it myself.

Eric Law at Microsoft says:

The JavaScript team reports that this is a known issue in the JavaScript engine.