Some time ago I asked this question. All solutions are workarounds.
Now this can\'t be. I feel that something is wrong here, but I can\'t tell if it is Swing\'s MVC
I still feel like there is something conceptually wrong here.
I empathize, but it may help to consider that you don't have a simple JList observing a ListSelectionModel. Instead, you have a JList and some-other-control observing a hybrid selection model. In @Taisin's example, the hybrid is a CustomSelectionModel that extends DefaultListSelectionModel and allows silent changes. When compatible, it's also possible to share a model, as suggested in this question & answer and this SharedModelDemo from the tutorial.
For reference, this thread cites the article Java SE Application Design With MVC: Issues With Application Design, which addresses the issue in more detail.