I believe this setting might be causing IntelliJ IDEA to behave slowly. I used to get a popup and finally clicked \'do this automatically\', and now it is on, but I want to
Uncheck Project Settings | Maven | Importing | Import Maven projects automatically.
For IDEA 14+ it's under Settings | Build, Execution, Deployment | Build Tools | Maven | Importing | Import Maven projects automatically.
For IDEA 2020+, open Settings | Build, Execution, Deployment | Build Tools and check "Reload projects after changes in the build scripts" and "Any changes"