NOTE: Before this question is assumed a duplicate, there is a section at the bottom of this question that addresses why a few similar questions do not provide the answer
Here are my two cents:
item method that works just like using square brackets, with the exception of returning null instead of undefined when you are out of range. You can just return an array with the item method implemented:myArray.item= function (e) { return this[e] || null; }
PS: Maybe you are taking the wrong approach and your custom query method could just wrap a document.querySelectorAll call that returns what you are looking for.