I have very simple query like this:
SELECT * FROM `all_conversations` WHERE `deleted_1` != \'1\';
And my deleted_1 be default
SELECT * FROM all_conversations WHERE deleted_1 <> 1 OR deleted_1 IS NULL
NULL values need special treatment: http://dev.mysql.com/doc/refman/5.1/en/working-with-null.html
I'd suggest using the diamond operator (<>) in favor of != as the first one is valid SQL and the second one is a MySQL addition.