I just discovered that every request in an ASP.Net web application gets a Session lock at the beginning of a request, and then releases it at the end of the request!
OK, so big Props to Joel Muller for all his input. My ultimate solution was to use the Custom SessionStateModule detailed at the end of this MSDN article:
http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/system.web.sessionstate.sessionstateutility.aspx
This was:
This has made a HUGE difference to the feeling of "snapiness" to our application. I still can't believe the custom implementation of ASP.Net Session locks the session for the whole request. This adds such a huge amount of sluggishness to websites. Judging from the amount of online research I had to do (and conversations with several really experienced ASP.Net developers), a lot of people have experienced this issue, but very few people have ever got to the bottom of the cause. Maybe I will write a letter to Scott Gu...
I hope this helps a few people out there!