Is there a command line program or service that I can use to start IIS Express manually?
From the links the others have posted, I'm not seeing an option. -- I just use powershell to kill it -- you can save this to a Stop-IisExpress.ps1 file:
get-process | where { $_.ProcessName -like "IISExpress" } | stop-process
There's no harm in it -- Visual Studio will just pop a new one up when it wants one.