I have two list of members like this:
Before: Peter, Ken, Julia, Tom
After: Peter, Robert, Julia, Tom
As you can see, Ken is is out and Robert is in.
Your question is not completely specified but I assume that you are looking for the differences as sets (that is, ordering does not matter). If so, you want the symmetric difference of the two sets. You can achieve this using Enumerable.Except:
before.Except(after).Union(after.Except(before));