AKA - What\'s this obsession with pointers?
Having only really used modern, object oriented languages like ActionScript, Java and C#, I don\'t really understand the
References in C++ are fundamentally different from references in Java or .NET languages; .NET languages have special types called "byrefs" which behave much like C++ "references".
A C++ reference or .NET byref (I'll use the latter term, to distinguish from .NET references) is a special type which doesn't hold a variable, but rather holds information sufficient to identify a variable (or something that can behave as one, such as an array slot) held elsewhere. Byrefs are generally only used as function parameters/arguments, and are intended to be ephemeral. Code which passes a byref to a function guarantees that the variable which is identified thereby will exist at least until that function returns, and functions generally guarantee not to keep any copy of a byref after they return (note that in C++ the latter restriction is not enforced). Thus, byrefs cannot outlive the variables identified thereby.
In Java and .NET languages, a reference is a type that identifies a heap object; each heap object has an associated class, and code in the heap object's class can access data stored in the object. Heap objects may grant outside code limited or full access to the data stored therein, and/or allow outside code to call certain methods within their class. Using a reference to calling a method of its class will cause that reference to be made available to that method, which may then use it to access data (even private data) within the heap object.
What makes references special in Java and .NET languages is that they maintain, as an absolute invariant, that every non-null reference will continue to identify the same heap object as long as that reference exists. Once no reference to a heap object exists anywhere in the universe, the heap object will simply cease to exist, but there is no way a heap object can cease to exist while any reference to it exists, nor is there any way for a "normal" reference to a heap object to spontaneously become anything other than a reference to that object. Both Java and .NET do have special "weak reference" types, but even they uphold the invariant. If no non-weak references to an object exist anywhere in the universe, then any existing weak references will be invalidated; once that occurs, there won't be any references to the object and it can thus be invalidated.
Pointers, like both C++ references and Java/.NET references, identify objects, but unlike the aforementioned types of references they can outlive the objects they identify. If the object identified by a pointer ceases to exist but the pointer itself does not, any attempt to use the pointer will result in Undefined Behavior. If a pointer isn't known either to be null or to identify an object that presently exists, there's no standard-defined way to do anything with that pointer other than overwrite it with something else. It's perfectly legitimate for a pointer to continue to exist after the object identified thereby has ceased to do so, provided that nothing ever uses the pointer, but it's necessary that something outside the pointer indicate whether or not it's safe to use because there's no way to ask the pointer itself.
The key difference between pointers and references (of either type) is that references can always be asked if they are valid (they'll either be valid or identifiable as null), and if observed to be valid they will remain so as long as they exist. Pointers cannot be asked if they are valid, and the system will do nothing to ensure that pointers don't become invalid, nor allow pointers that become invalid to be recognized as such.