I\'m generating ICalendar (.ics) files.
Using the UID and SEQUENCE fields I can update existing events in Google Calendar and in Windows Calendar BUT NOT
I'm using Entourage, so this may not match up exactly with the behavior you're seeing, but I hope it helps.
Using the iCalendar from your reply, Entourage wouldn't even import the data. Using a known-good file, I got it to import, then successfully update. Comparing the two files, the only structural differences are as follows:
VERSION elementPRODID elementSTATUS elementSEQUENCE elementSince Microsoft's support for open standards tends to lag, I'd suggest trying without the VERSION info.