I\'m generating ICalendar (.ics) files.
Using the UID and SEQUENCE fields I can update existing events in Google Calendar and in Windows Calendar BUT NOT
add this to your ICS file
X-WR-RELCALID:MyCal123
where MyCal123 is a unique identifier for your calendar.
By adding this line to an ICS file the entire calendar gets updated (after a prompt in Outlook). You don't even need to change the DTSTAMP or SEQUENCE or ORGANIZER and METHOD:PUBLISH is fine for the update. Just update the event details, double-click the ICS and the calendar will update. Note that this also works fine if you have published the calendar and provided a URL for people to view it. They just need to hit refresh after about 2mins and they will also get the update.
Thanks to David Bjørnhart for pointing this out: ICal import creates new calendar When Open the ics file