I have always been an embedded software engineer, but usually at Layer 3 or 2 of the OSI stack. I am not really a hardware guy. I have generally always done telecoms product
for memory management, you can implement your own allocator, which request memory from the pool. And all STL container have a template for the allocator.
for exception, STL doesn't throw many exceptions, in generally, the most common are: out of memory, in your case, the system should reset, so you can do reset in the allocator. others are such as out of range, you can avoid it by the user.
so, i think you can use STL in embedded system :)