*sh (+curl), partial solution
This is incomplete, but for the hell of it, here's the word-frequency counting half of the problem in 192 bytes:
curl -s http://www.gutenberg.org/files/11/11.txt|sed -e 's@[^a-z]@\n@gi'|tr '[:upper:]' '[:lower:]'|egrep -v '(^[^a-z]*$|\b(the|and|of|to|a|i|it|in|or|is)\b)' |sort|uniq -c|sort -n|tail -n 22
