I\'ve searched around a lot and see people suggesting that:
::-moz-selection {background: red;}
::selection {background: red; }
..works for
I found this because I was having the same problem, I did find an odd solution that seems to work atleast with chrome and maybe others. The solution was to use an attribute selector. This seemed to work with chrome, I tested it in the js fiddle. A side note that the box did not immediately change color to background red but once I selected another option I could clearly see that it had indeed turned red. You can check it out in the jsfiddle listed above.
http://jsfiddle.net/vzDvK/1/
#dropdowns option[selected] {
background: red;
}