Nobody has actually asked this (from all the \'suggestions\' I\'m getting and also from searching before I asked here).
So why is node.js asynchronous?
From
Could JavaScript be made into a synchronous language?
Javascript is not an "asynchronous language"; rather, node.js has a lot of asynchronous APIs. Asynchronous-ness is a property of the API and not the language. The ease with which functions can be created and passed around in javascript makes it convenient to pass callback functions, which is one way to handle control flow in an asynchronous API, but there's nothing inherently asynchronous about javascript. Javascript can easily support synchronous APIs.
Why is node.js asynchronous?
Node.js favors asynchronous APIs because it is single-threaded. This allows it to efficiently manage its own resources, but requires that long-running operations be non-blocking, and asynchronous APIs are a way to allow for control of flow with lots of non-blocking operations.